Renewed Confidence

I was feeling really wiped after Boulder Lake. I trained very little the following week. I didn't train Monday because I was aching all over or Thursday because my daughter had some teeth pulled that day and I was taking care of her at home. I skied very little on Tuesday and didn't do the intervals with the team at practice on Wednesday. On Friday I met Dave, Cheryl, and Bridges at Wirth to check out the race course for Mayor's Challenge and I didn't feel too great, pretty tired and the hills felt big. I didn't train again on Saturday because I was too busy with family stuff and felt tired, like I was just dragging myself through the day. The thought of going up all those hills at Wirth three times with the way I felt was not pleasant. I didn't know if it was even wise to try. Maybe I'd just be digging myself a deeper hole. I was getting discouraged that I could still feel so tired after what little I did all week. Maybe I should just take a couple weeks off racing. I woke in the middle of the night on Saturday and lay there thinking that I couldn't really call Dave and tell him not to come pick me up in the morning. So instead I gave myself permission not to start the race if I didn't feel good warming up or to quit in the middle if I felt bad during the race. I talked to Dave about it in the morning and he convinced me that I needed a decent workout if nothing else because I hadn't had one in a while. So I started the race. I didn't go out real hard and seemed to feel fine. My kick was really good. I had decided to err on the side of good kick over glide because I didn't want to struggle up the hills and tire myself even more. My goal for the race was to ski smoothly, in control, concentrate on good technique, and not put myself under on the hills. To my pleasant surprise, I actually felt ok, not bad at all in fact. Sure, it would've been nice to hang with Kathleen, but I accomplished my goals and felt like I had a decent race. At the finish line an older man that I'd skied much of the race with told me how nice it was to ski with me and how relaxed and efficient I was, so that was a really nice confirmation and confidence booster. I guess I can do this after all. I'm even looking forward to Nordic Spirit next weekend.

One thing I need to remind myself of is that I need periods of rest from my daily life just like I need days of rest from training. I tend to push myself all the time, there's always so much that needs to be done. Sunday after the race, my husband insisted that I take a nap since I'd been complaining of being so tired. I slept for two hours and felt much better. I got a bunch of things done that afternoon and evening, and didn't feel like crap doing it like I did the day before. I probably got as much done, and felt better, than if I hadn't taken that nap. The hard part is finding that time for rest. Some things just can't wait, particularly things with the kids. Homework needs to be done, meals need to be made, and bedtime routines followed. As they get older they are starting to help with the chores, like folding and putting away their own laundry and picking up after themselves (albeit with constant reminders :-). My daughter, at 10 yr. old, is starting to take an interest in cooking. So hopefully responsibilities will shift and that elusive rest time will be easier to find. In the meantime I'm hanging in there, and I think I'll make it.